Wednesday, March 18, 2009


we said our goodbyes to lucy tonight.

she was a true loyal friend to aaron, and for years she was his constant companion.
lucy was gracious enough to accept me and our children as part of her clan and even as our family expanded, lucy always had room in her heart to accept and give more love. she never needed nor asked for much, but she gave all of herself in return.

goodbye our friend, we thank you for all that you have taught us, all of the protection that you gave to us, all of the warmth you shared with us.

you are missed.

(photo by heather v keeling)

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Erbeck down! Erbeck down!

i should have known that true's flu bug would make the rounds to each family member...but after a day and aaron, luca and myself had no signs of sickness i thought we were golden. wrong!

aaron sustained the first blow, with the bug hitting him on thursday at work. he came home, ran a bath of impossibly hot water and shivered in it for 45 minutes. he then layered himself in wool clothing and a down jacket only to shiver the rest of the night. he did go to work the next day, but found himself coming home by noon.

and i was so smug...thinking that i'd been so smart by getting the flu shot and i wouldn't get sick. ha! on friday afternoon i loaded luca up in the buggie to make my excursion to pick up true at school. half way there my stomach was in knots. half way back home the flu had taken full effect, and i left my lunch on some body's curb (sorry!). i crawled home, dumped the kids off into aaron's arms and curled up on the couch, with a multitude of blankets, but i sitll couldn't get warm.

i was so miserable. and everything that i was going through, i realized that i had watched true go through only a few days before. and now that i was feeling it myself, i was anguished that my son had to go through it. i was even more anguished that he was sick sometime in the night, alone, in his bed. i can't help but wonder if he called out to me and i didn't hear him, or if he was too weak to call out. either way, i know that as i lay there with waves of nausea, all i wanted was my mother, and i'm sure true felt that same way. and i wasn't there for him.

aaron was such a trooper, still sick, he wrangled kids and his demanding wife (even going to the store to get me some ginger ale, a flu must have holdover from my youth).

you might ask, how did luca fair? hard to know how badly he felt, and i'll spare you the gory details, but i'll tell you that we were changing diapers at an accelerated rate.

Friday, March 13, 2009


true and luca's relationship continues to amaze me. true really does love luca, and luca responds with a smile whenever true is around. luca's eyes follow true's movements, it seems as if luca considers true his teacher.

last night, we had one of those family moments that brings tears to a mother's eyes, a moment that makes all of the sleepless night and all of the temper tantrums well worth it (i think). true asked if he could read a story to his little brother. of course, i told him, please do. we all know that at almost 3 years old, true is not yet reading, but he enjoys pretending that he does. who knows, maybe to true, he is reading.

true selected a few different books, but really did quite well with Green Eggs and Ham. he sat next to luca, "shhhhhhhh, i'll read now but you need to be quiet luca." luca quieted and looked at him. true began...

sam i am
(next page)
sam i am
(next page)
sam iiiiiiiiiiiiii aaaaaammmm
(next page)
i do not like green eggs and ham
(next page)
sam i am
(next page)
not in a box
(skip pages)
not in a car
(skip more)
not in a train
(skip more)
i do! i really like green eggs and ham sam!
the end luca.
do you like my story luca?

luca smiled.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

practice makes perfect

true and luca practice tummy time together. of course true doesn't need tummy time, but he likes to help luca practice so that luca will grow up quick and start playing with him. he can hardly wait!

flu bug

poor true has been down for the count with the flu! aside from about a billion colds this is really his first time being pretty sick. he was so sad when he would throw up (all of us were, certainly me and luca, who were in the line of fire more than once). but he was so cute and cuddly ("momma, i want to holds you") that it made the cleaning up part not so bad. we spent all monday snuggling. by monday night, he thought he felt better and his dad fed him some crackers and ice cream. i saw the crackers and ice cream again, tuesday morning, all over my freshly showered self.

we spent the better part of tuesday curled together on the couch, reading book after book after book and all over again. i watched true start to drift off into a deep slumber when his head nodded, his eyes popped open (oh crap, i thought, here goes the puke again...), he bolted upright and demanded a bowl of oatmeal. well all right! he ate, kept his food down, and all of a sudden he was back to his old self (cute and demanding).

Friday, March 6, 2009

Mt Baldy

Luca has some interesting hair going on these days. He was born with a nice head of light brown hair, short up top and a little longer in the back. It truly was the perfect infant mullet. Now he's losing everything on the sides (not the top, nor the mullet), and the new stuff coming in is very light blond. This gives the appearance of a stripe from ear to ear that is bald. Add in the fact (as pictured) that he has an actual very bald spot, with the mullet looking like it's not going anywhere... well, we have one very righteous hair style.
(and geez, is that an ear or a piece of cauliflower?)

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Costco CoolAid

After many years of fighting it off, Aaron and I have succumbed to the monster known as Costco. We really thought a lot of ourselves for refusing to buy a membership, even after having a kid, but in a weak moment, we found ourselves with membership cards (remember, we are sleep deprived) and an over sized cart, ready to spend, spend, spend.

Aaron was on the front line...the first to go in....
He came home with this dazed look on his face, his eyes glossed, his skin pink, a bead of sweat rolling down his brow, a slight pant as he took air into his lungs.....I had to slap him a few times and scream, "Aaron! Aaron McCaig Erbeck! Come back to me Aaron!" It wasn't until the car was unloaded and the goods shuttled away (we have to buy a storage unit for this), that Aaron finally came around. "My god, Tracy. It was horrendous."

That was a month ago.

Today, as I used Luca's last diaper and installed the last of the toilet paper, I knew I had to find the courage to go. As the parent not punching the clock, it was my duty, my charge to return to the front lines. I had no choice.

I drove North on Aurora...Aurora! With it's sleazy car dealerships, by-the-hour hotels, and cemeteries of strip malls, the journey in itself was enough to make me want to go home and shower.

I pulled into the parking lot, loaded the kid in the Bjorn, slung my small suitcase of a purse over my shoulder, and walked the 2.5 miles to the actual entrance of the store. I was weary already and my throat was parched. Some character wearing a bright red vest with a "Costco" patch smiled at me and nodded slowly. He said nothing and gently handed me a Dixie cup of red liquid. "Go ahead lady. Drink it. It's a sample. It's free." I didn't hesitate. This would prove to be almost fatal.

Once inside I found myself in complete awe as I looked around. I couldn't see the sides nor the end of the building. All around me people were scurrying about, eyes focused and determined, I didn't exist to them (but the jumbo box of Doritos did).

I grabbed a cart and joined the mob. It took me a few minutes, but it wasn't too long that I got into the groove. I tore up and down the aisles filling my cart with all kinds of wonderful things! 25 lbs of turkey burgers, a gallon of ketchup, 52 pack of red and blue toothbrushes, a flat of instant noodle soup, 16 bags of trail mix (you know, the kind with lots of fake m&ms) all shrink wrapped together, a sweatshirt for $15!, a t-shirt for $8!, a 10 pack of underwear, 2 cases of beer, 2 gallons of "red table wine"...and more, more, more!!!!! I was dizzy, I was sweating, I was manic, but I was getting the best deal possible on 62 lbs of sliced pepperoni!

It was during this frenzy that Luca decided to projectile puke all over my chin, his chin, and everything south of both. With one hand I'm wiping curdled milk off of us, with the other I'm loading 50 rolls of toilet paper, with my foot I'm steering the cart....and out of no where comes another full cart at full speed, driven by a elf like gray haired woman. She shot me a look full of daggers. I shot her a look of disbelief. She cleared her throat and said, "EXCUSE ME!!" Now I am absolutely certain she was not blind and she could see my juggling act. I'm not feeling kind at this point, so I reply, "Hmmm, I didn't smell it." Shocked and disgusted she says, under her breath, "Well I never...." (Oh lady, you're really setting yourself up). To which I reply, "Well that's obvious."

What is it about discounts and sales and warehouse shopping that makes us so evil and have such little regard for manners???

I shook my head and pulled myself together. I looked with utter amazement at my cart. What is all this CRAP?! I don't eat this stuff, I don't need a sweatshirt made by toddlers in a 3rd world country, it will take me forever to use 52 toothbrushes! It must have been the coolaid! I had to get out and fast!

I randomly dumped my selections wherever I could find empty nooks and dug around my suitcase purse until I finally retrieved my shopping list. I put my blinders on, grabbed only what I needed, and sprinted to the nearest checkout stand.

"How was your shopping experience today?" questioned the checker. "Fantastic. Thank you. I loved the free beverage sample at the entrance. Delicious," I replied, hopeful that it wouldn't be found out that I was not buying into the warehouse cult.

He eyed me with question. But he let me go.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Who is That?

take a look at my husband, some 13 years ago, dreadlocks and all. he was such a punk (and still is). one look at this historical photo and i knew that indeed, aaron and i were meant for each other.

and lucy, the punk rock dog, still has her spunk. she may be all salt-n-pepper, but she's none the less sassy.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

daddy playtime

aaron and i have different ideas about what are acceptable forms of play inside the house. but in general, as longs as things don't get broken and the baby stays sleeping, i try not to complain (at least out loud).